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New journal. Old one filled up, and it feels right to start a new journal now.


(1)


They always talk about “getting out” whenever they can. It's not a bad thing, but I’ve been hearing stories about this “outside” for as long as I can remember. As a child, my education even came from books they found as we moved from place to place, all full of pictures of things I’ve never seen outside of other pictures.

No matter how much I hear about this “outside world”, I just can’t get excited about it like they can. As I understand it, the world they were pulled from is nothing like this place. They never had to worry about posting look-outs at night, learn to fight, or constantly be ready to move. They talk about “weather” and a “sky” all the time, showing pictures to me when I don’t understand. I understand the concepts very well, but they just seem foreign to me. When they describe “rain”, I imagine the spray of an enormous shower (which made quite a few of them laugh). They tell stories about their time back wherever they came from, assuring me that their world is a much better place, acting as if this place is the strange one.

I’m not sure how to connect to what they’re talking about. Alex and Carolyn seem to have accepted that though, and I’m grateful. Without them here, I doubt I’d stick around. Even though they remember the outside they never expect me to understand how they feel, just as I don’t expect them to understand how I feel about the Halls.

The others in this group are just like the people in almost any other group I’ve been part of, but the one outlier is Arch. Everyone tells me he has no memories of anything before appearing in the Halls, which I doubted at first. But they explained that they had felt the same way at first, but after spending so long with him, they came to realize he was not faking. I personally still have my doubts, but I mostly agree. He is a strange one. He never really talks much, and spends most his free time writing about observations he’s made or whatever has currently caught his interest. But he’s also clearly a capable leader, having kept a group this large together for this long. I can tell he’s been here for much longer than the others, but I don’t know much more than that.

I’ll follow him for now. Nothing has told be he can’t be trusted, and I’m hoping nothing does. I’m starting to think that he’s the only one here who might be in a similar position as I am: no memories of the outside, and having been here for many years. No way of knowing how things will go at this point though. If things start to go bad, I’ll escape with Alex and Carolyn.

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